clean

Figured out that cleaning my room is like, an automatic way to de-stress. Throwing away the crap and opening up space again feels good.

What doesn't feel too good, however, is the fact I just ate too many Doritos and as a consequence I feel royally sick. My bad.

"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to."

More lyrics. Woo. They're from one of my all time favourite songs as well.

Toodles, people.
Koralyn x

jobless

Boom, that's my current status. Not even totally sure I want to get a job whilst trying to juggle sixth form as well, but I need the money. So, job hunting it is.

I want driving lessons, university, and a huge ass drunken summer road trip - gief the cash.

Wish me luck!
Toodles,
Koralyn x

you're in my veins

Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out,
Oh, you're all I taste, at night, inside of my mouth.
Oh, you run away, 'cause I am not what you found,
Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out.

This is now one of my favourite songs, so glad I found it.

far away

'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know.



In a nickelback mood.

the reason why i smile

Last night I blacked out I think
What did you, what did you put in my drink?
I remember making out and then.. ohoh
I woke up with a new tattoo
Your name was on me and my name was on you
I would do it all over again.


Gotta love a bit of Avril Lavigne.

so yahhh.

All I want is to feel better. Better about myself, better about school, better about where I am and where I'm going... For the first time in AGES, school is a real chore. Not because it's hard... If it was, perhaps my mind would be distracted a little more. It's because things are just different. I have to worry about what I'm wearing, where I'm going to sit (because only one of my classes is with a friend), whether the teacher will come up and ask why I'm sat on my own.
   One of my maths teachers did that today. She asked me; 'Do you usually sit on your own?'... I know she didn't mean harm, but thanks for drawing attention to me. I told her no, I didn't. There's just no one in my maths class who I actually like to speak to, no one from my friendship group. And the annoying thing is, if I'd been placed in the other option block or twisted my options slightly, I WOULD have been.
   And you know what? Then she asked me if I'd move into one of the other groups next lesson. I said yes, of course, just to get her away.
   Had she not noticed that LAST lesson I'd sat with a group? Only this time I'd come in first, sat where I sat last time, and they all just waltzed over to a completely different table. I don't know what the fuck is up with me, but I wanted to cry right then and there. It's not fair.
   I don't alienate myself on purpose. I don't sit apart on purpose. In fact, I make an effort to fucking sit WITH people. To make new friends, to socialise. I'm not WEIRD, I'm not HORRID. I don't have some sort of mental disorder, and neither am I insanely fat - which seems to immediately alienate you in my college. I'm not pretty. I'm not beautiful. I'm not perfect by far.
   But I'm not a fucking alien either.
   This whole entry sounds angry. But really, deep down in side, I'm just tired. Tired of being overlooked by boys, who see me as just another person. I want someone to cuddle up with and talk to. I had a chance, I guess, with S... but I fucked that one up. Majorly.
   It's 23:59. 11:59...
   Reminds me of the Ryan Star song.
   Also, I have psychology homework to do still, so I am screwed.
   I hope this shitfuckballthingyofalmightycrap gets better.

truth

honest to god i'll break your heart,
tear you to pieces and rip you apart.

AHH.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

AHHHHH.


GRRR. GRRR. GRRR.


Majorly angry. Majorly pissed. Majorly everything.

Time to watch the Vampire Diaries; balm of my soul. WOOHOO. I'ma have to get myself one of those hot vampire boyfriends someday. Seriously...

Also, three weeks left until I finish school. Scary shiz, eh?

AHHHH.

Koralyn.

Summer

Oh my days. It's so effing sunny! This is England, right, we never ever get sun!

Wow.

Sunbathing on the trampoline with my baby brother, yessir. And lot's of BBQ food and laughs. Y'know, this Easter break might not be so grim after all. There is, however, a distinct lack of shiz to do during the day.

Bounce on the trampoline... check.
Eat cereal... check.
Draw some random crap... check.
Go for a run on the treadmill... check.
Walk the dog... check.
Play a game... check.
Feed the fish... check.
Take my antibiotics... check.

And after all that shit, I have nothing left to do, and it's probably only just gone 11am. I'm going to have to think up a new workout thingy, 'cos that seems to be the only worthwhile thing to do right now.

Butt lifts, anyone?

K x

Storm

It’s a storm, this love,
And He’s the epicentre.
Roiling, twisting, beautifully destructive,
But safe.
He cannot be measured;
Such a sudden breath of fresh air.
There’s no mark scheme, no units, nothing for me to ponder,
It’s instinct.
This isn’t education, it’s creativity.
He has the power to sunder my world,
Turn it grey, blue and black,
But I never wonder
Exactly what it is that holds him in check.
Trust has flowered here,
A bond delicate and white in its purity.
With dusky wings it unfolds -
Curls tentatively around my heart.
It’s a rare blooming rose,
But it’s vines are thornless, painless.
My back is guarded,
My heart shielded from mortal blows.
Like the weather,
The rain as it beats against my window panes,
His presence comforts me.
As long as He is here, I am safe. 

My Drug

My beating heart he slays so easily,
Biting into it with calm words
And unawareness.
The cool glances, the subtle signs.
I’d spend a million nights pondering,
Oh what did they mean?
Pounding pulse, adrenaline rush,
It’s my rollercoaster.
Or perhaps it’s just my drug.
I keep coming back,
Desperate for more.
To feel the burning pain,
The longing and hurt, icy cold and heartless.
Cut the rope, cut him off, cut him loose,
The easy solution.
Oh, sweet numbness once again would be bliss.
I’d know, though.
I’d crave it, feel the itching under my skin,
Pale scars on my heart, salty tears on my cheeks.
Crawling on hands and knees I’d go back,
Back to the monster who feasted upon my zeal,
Leaving me an empty lifeless shell.
And he’d kiss me, kiss me breathless,
His hands bare flames against my skin.
Tears would still run, and so would blood.
But the sweet oblivion he creates,
With sharp tongue and liquored words,
Slicing through the haze of blurry thoughts that do crowd my mind,
It’d be worth it.
Just for that moment,
One dazzling, agonising, hot white second...
He’d be worth it.


---
It's how I feel.

Koralyn. 

stress

Yep. So, all week I've been uber-stressed.

Basically, shit's going down for J - which is making me major upset for her. And I fucked up two of my exams (got the results last thursday).

I got an A* in Biology, C in Chemistry and C in Physics.

What the fuck happened? Ahhh. I feel like bashing my head against the wall. When I got off the bus after getting my results at school, I had a row with mum, came downstairs 5 minutes later, gave her a hug and literally burst out crying. I'm now banned from resits, because she thinks I'm overworking myself and I'm not getting enough sleep.

I guess she's right. I can't keep worrying so hard, because I'll just end up shitting up the rest of my exams in June (that's when I'd be doing the resists for chem and physics).

It still niggles at me that my overall grades are A*/B/B though, for bio, chem & physics respectively. But there is a sort of reason.. I loathe chemistry and physics. Can't do them, no matter how I try.

Biology is a different story - I'm fascinated by it. I'm also taking it for A level. Because I'm interested in it, I guess it comes much more naturally than the other two, and I actually look forward to a biology exam. It feels kind of like a challenge waiting for me to overcome, one that I can actually ROCK out. But in chem/physics, it feels as if I'm staring into a shit black void, about to fall into it... never to return.

ANYWAY. RANT OVER. FUCKING HELL.

Y'know what? I need to draw more. And listen to more music. And eat more too - I've gotten skinnier.

K x

Ps: Through all the shit, my mum brought three prom dresses, just for me to try on (we'd already been out a few days earlier looking for one - no luck) and one of them I've decided is THE ONE. It's a gorgeous teal/blue floor length thingy. I love it.

And it makes my ass look amazing.

Prom

Howdy-do-dar, guys!

Little notice - dropped three pounds through my minor diet efforts. Ha, fail. It's still a certain degree of success though, and my ass is a little smaller, so s'all good. If I put my back into it - like last time - I could lose a stone, I guess. It's only 11 more pounds. But then again, mother hates it if I get near to looking like a stick, so.. yeah.

Half a stone. She might not mind that.

My prom is on the 24th of June - SQUEAL - and my mum's agreed to go prom dress shopping tomorrow, which should be awesome. I want a long dress preferably, and only strapless if I can find a decent strapless bra otherwise HELL NO. Asking for trouble.

Gonna go with deep purple/blue, or maybe something like a cappuccino colour? Something that suits my skin tone, anyway, and set's off my hair. I'm pale with auburn (my mum would be screaming IT'S ALMOST GINGER right now) hair. Kill me now, haaaa.

The prom committee has split into groups to deal with separate areas of the grand shinanigan. I'm sorting out the music with L and a few others, which works out awesome for me. 1) I'm a music nut, and 2) it means I can stop the chav's from playing non-stop Dubstep. We're having a mix of everything, from ABBA to Jessie J, from The Beatles to Eminem & Rihanna. It shall be legendary.

Oh. I also put in Crazy Frog, just to piss everyone off a TAD. Mwahahaaa, me and L shall be hiding at that point in time.

I'm also going to get my make-up done by Mac (£25 for the appointment, aint too bad), my nails done (aint sorted that yet) and my hair - not sure if mum's doing it (she's a hairdresser) or if I'm going to a salon. I know I'm having it up though, hehe.

A fake tan could be on the cards as long as it's guaranteed not to come out looking like I'm from the local curry shop.

Laters, innit.
K x

40 Days

40 days left of school. 40 days to sort my shit out and finish everything.

Yep, I'm screwed.

On another note, I haven't posted here for ages so I thought I'd write something. Mainly for my own mental health of course, since in no way is this beneficial to anyone else out there.

My mum is really into the whole 'sell our house' idea. Our next door neighbours just sold their house for £305,000... so yeah, she's extremely into selling it. She wants to split the money, split from Dad, and buy her own place somewhere else (which'll probably be chav-ville 'cos something like £150,000 won't buy anything in any of the areas round here) with her new dude.

Okay, I made it sound brutal there. Her new dude is awesome, and he's really great. It really isn't all that bad. And I can see the advantages of moving and not having a mortgage, etc, etc. It's just going to be weird, and new, and... I don't know. Strange doesn't seem to quite describe it.

So yeah, I could be moving house soon. Which is fucking crazy to be honest.

And through all the madness, one question sticks in my head; HOW THE FUCK DO WE MOVE MY AQUARIUM?

HAAAA. Nice problem we've got there.

Good luck figuring that one out, people.

Aufedersehen, or however you spell it.
Good night, peace out, chillax.
Smoke weed?
K x

I Need to Know

"Feel so far away,
Want to see your face,
Are you even there?
Can you show me?
Can you make me believe?

I need to know."

bit of picasso

"Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth." 
— Pablo Picasso

city of ashes

"Some guys look at you like they only want sex. Jace looks at you like you've had sex - it was great and now you're just friends. Drives girls crazy. Know what I mean?" Yes. Clary thought. "No." Clary said." 
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"I don't hate you, Jace."
"I don't hate you, either."
She looked up at him, relieved. "I'm glad to hear that—"
"I wish I could hate you," he said. His voice was light, his mouth curved in an unconcerned half smile, his eyes sick with misery. "I want to hate you. I try to hate you. It would be so much easier if I did hate you. Sometimes I think I do hate you and then I see you and I—"
Her hands had grown numb with their grip on the blanket. "And you what?"
"What do you think?" Jace shook his head. "Why should I tell you everything
about how I feel when you never tell me anything? It's like banging my head on a
wall, except at least if I were banging my head on a wall, I'd be able to make myself stop."
Clary's lips were trembling so violently that she found it hard to speak. "Do you think it's easy for me?" she demanded."
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"You disappear so completely into your head sometimes," he said. "I wish I could follow you."
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

Courage

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. " - Atticus Finch
— Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)

iambic pentameter

Yes, I know. It's a term used in poetry. I just love the way it sounds, so I'm using it as a title... because I'm cool like that.

Today we had to book appointments with the subject teachers we wish to see on the 6th form info evening at my school. Of course, it was like... I don't know. A massacre? Something like that, anyway. It was complete and utter madness.

BUT, being the ninja I am, I got 5 appointments all within an hour. Admittedly, I came out of that hall feeling pretty damn bad-ass.

Anyway, just thought I'd post 'cos y'know... got a spare five minutes, nothing to fill it with, etc.

Also, I watched My Sisters Keeper last night. It's the saddest film I have ever watched, but totally worth while the tears and tissues you go through while watching it. It's an amazing film.

Jesus, one of these days I'm going to watch something a bit more cheery. I promise. About to watch Black Swan again in a minute, should be fun - don't know if I've mentioned it before, but it's an awesome film. A little disturbing and twisted in places, but otherwise brilliant. The main actress, Natalie Portman, totally deserves Best Actress award for her performance.

I still have to go and watch Tangled. Blehh. Instead I've got to spend my saturday night with the grandrentals, having a meal out to celebrate my dads birthday. Oh the joys. Let's hope I survive, eh?

Koralyn x

Drifting

I think for like, the first time ever... my Dad is noticing my artwork. He comes to see me for a chat every night before he goes bed, and these days there's always something on my desk or easel, which inevitably he sees. I'm used to my mum and my brother complimenting my work, but my dad never really has. Not because he's doing it on purpose, but because I never really show it to people.. my mum and brother actively ask to see it.

Just a few minutes ago he walked through my door and stopped, staring at my easel. Then he said; 'God, that's good. You really are good, aren't you?'

Putting it simply, I was kinda gob-smacked. It was kind of a huge compliment, especially to hear from him.

It's slowly becoming a common thing, my family coming into my room at odd times to see what I'm working on - because I'm always working on something, haha. I guess apart from writing on here and working out, drawing is the only other way I work out my feelings.

The piece my dad commented on is a painting of an eye, done in watercolour and acrylic in my huge sketchpad. I know, I know, I should use canvas...but I couldn't be arsed digging one up. My mum thinks its a sad, lonely thing to look at. It is, I guess, but it was meant to be. The eye has a single tear dripping from it, which I guess is what connotes the loneliness and sadness.

I named it 'Chemical Tears', partly because of the colours I used - black, purple, red, green, white - and partly because of the meaning behind it, which I haven't told anyone and I don't really plan to.

I'll get some photos up some day of my art work, so you can see.

I'm going through a weird phase at the moment. I don't really care if it fades or not to be honest.

Oh, before I forget... listen to these. Please.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLspGSspckQ&feature=autoplay&list=PLB042C8A93C4360DC&index=4&playnext=3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y07BpA33w-0&feature=BF&list=PLB042C8A93C4360DC&index=2

He has the most amazing voice ever. I'm currently cramming my iPod full of his music, haha.

Laters,
K.

paintttttt

Seems like I'm obsessed with painting right now. On Thursday night I sat and painted a raspberry (I kid you not), and last night I painted a girl wearing a Dia de los Muertos mask (for the dumb asses who don't know what that is - mexican festival, 'day of the dead').

My brother walked into my room, stared at the painting on my easel and said; 'That's fucking creepy. Amazing, but creepy." Yup. It really is creepy, it's the creepiest thing I've painted. Maybe.

The raspberry my mum loves, after she saw it she gave me permission to paint on my walls. Like, literally... Paint my bedroom walls with whatever the hell I felt like. I was like, 'WOW. Have you been smoking?' But no, she hadn't, so it's official... I HAVE PERMISSION TO DOODLE ON MY WALLS.

Hell to the yes.

I do love that raspberry painting though, it's my favourite right now. The Dia de los Muertos girl scares me, even though I love her hair - tried a different technique while painting it and it came out awesome. Her face looks too real though, which is why she's creepy.

Ahhh well.

Off to see the Wizard of Oz. Woooooo. (Joke, I've got fuck all to do).
Koralyn x

well hell

I've only got about.. 11 weeks left in school.

When I finish, I'll have spent 12 years of my life in school... not to mention I've still got another 6 to go. Primary school went so slowly, but high school has flown by. I mean, a week goes by in the blink of an eye, and I'm permanently writing the wrong date in my books.

Speaking of books, I can't WAIT to make my yearbook. We get an official one from school, but it's tradition to make your own over the last few days of school - everyone takes pictures to shove in them, you sign each others, write notes.. etc, etc. Since I kind of love anything even vaguely scrapbook-ish, this is my idea of heaven. I'm so damn sad, haha. 

I promised loads of lower school kids on my bus they could sign mine, which should be an.. experience, I guess. I'll probably get mobbed by evil kiddies armed with sharpies now.

Also, I can't help adding that THE VAMPIRE DIARIES IS BACK. Well, it came back last Thursday (the 27th) but I only just watched the newest episode online... I swear, I'm now twice as addicted as I was before. And even more in love with Damon, god damn it. And Rose. And Caroline & Tyler. Damnnnn, I love them all.

Pahhh.

Enjoy what's left of the weekend!
K x

little bits of nothing

Yep, it's 00:38 on a Saturday night and I'm bored as fuck. With nothing to do, except probably sleep... which I don't want to do. Not yet awhile, anyhow.

My throat is really killing me - for the first time in my life, I think I'm going to lose my voice. My darling mother will probably celebrate, seeing as I will 'no longer be able to voice my strong opinions'. Let me translate; 'I'll no longer be able to bitch, yell, shout, and generally piss everyone off like I love to do on a daily basis.' Ahahahaaa.

She loves me really, and I have proof - today I just mentioned that I'd like us to get an aquarium again (my parents used to have a huge tropical one, but it got insanely expensive to run so.. bye-bye fish!), and BAM. We go to Pets At Home, look at tanks and fish, then she's on Amazon & Ebay looking for tanks and other random equipment, and tomorrow she wants to order me a BiOrb Tank. 

Considering it aint my birthday for yonks and we just had Christmas, I'd say she loves me - that tank is gonna make a serious hole in her pocket. Or, y'know. She's just insane. 

Probably insane. 

But, those tanks are sexy - they practically put the 's' in 'fish'.

My Mum seems to remember loads about all the fish she had etc., it's actually kind of cool. I mean, I'd settle for one of those fat little goldfish - what's wrong with them, huh? - but if she doesn't mind going tropical, then.. YAY.

Chillax. Buy some fish. Erm, yeah.
K x

boys don't cry

   I'd just like to say that 'Boys Don't Cry' is one of the most moving and emotional films that I've ever watched. I started watching it on my laptop last night, and I literally didn't move an inch for the entire duration - I was totally captivated.

   To anyone who hasn't seen the film; watch it. It's got such a deep and powerful message behind it, one that hit me full on. This film really shines a light on the courage it takes to be different, and Brandon (the main character) definitely makes the people who grow to love him rethink the way they view themselves. They also had to make a decision; to change who they were, or hate him. 

   It really shook me right down to the bone, and it made me question what I'd do if I was caught in a situation like that. It also stamped out my casual use of the word 'gay' as as a mild insult, especially after seeing how extreme homophobia and peoples actions because of it hurt others. I'll freely admit I cried after watching the film, it saddened me that much, because I thought I'd always tried my best to be kind-hearted and sensitive to those around me. Now I realise that my use of several words under a certain context might have been extremely hurtful, and I deeply regret that.
   I was thinking last night about all the prejudice in the world, and how racism and homophobia have several links. Not that long ago, both racism and homophobia were rampant worldwide - now though, to be racist is viewed as not only rude and inappropriate, but it's also a crime.
   I understand that homophobia is also a crime, but our generation uses words such as 'gay', 'faggot' and 'dyke' as casually as the word 'and'. This homophobia is so deeply interwoven into our collective culture that most of us don't even realise the meaning of what we are saying any more, and the pain that can be caused because of it. We don't think twice about using these words; they're just natural, whereas we realise immediately if we are being racist and we are completely aware of it.
   'Gay' has somehow turned into an insult, when once upon a time, it meant 'happiness'.
   Our generation is shaming itself, and I can only hope that in the near future we become more aware of how deep our prejudice has gotten. To anyone who has ever been hurt by homophobia, you have my sympathy and deepest apologies.

Koralyn.

 

weekend

At long frickin' last! Halle-bloody-lujah.

I plan to go swimming, and do nowt else. Because y'know what? I can't be arsed. :D

Anyways, not got much shit to update y'all about. My exams are over for now, and I get results in March.. God help me. Also, back on my exercise/food craze. Butt needs toning for summmmmmeeerrrrrrrr, baby.

Hell yes, summer 2011 is going to ROCK. I'll be done with school, it'll be my birthday - WAHOO - and hopefully, it's going to be hot. Don't think my rentals plan on booking any holidays because of the shit going on, so... yeah. First summer EVER at home.

And, it's gonna be wild. Because I said so.

And... y'know. Loads of my mates also have birthdays in the summer. And, y'know... they all have really nice houses. With tennis courts. And peacocks for pets. FML, why can't I have a peacock?

They're just too damn rich, but I aint complaining - That's why I love summer.

AND. IT'S. PROM. Ahhh. Dresses, make-up & hair, oh my! I'm on both the prom committee and the yearbook committee, and we literally organise everything - so it's gonna be perfect. Because I have perfectionist friends who are all far to good at planning shit for it to be a disaster, & also we've already booked an awesome venue - can't say names, obviously, but it's SEXY. And posh. And it's gonna be extremely formal and gorgeous.. until people's music choices hit, then it'll just turn mad. Haaaaaaa.

Gawd, I sound like a stuck-up twat.

Haha. :L

Chillax dudes,
K x

dreams

I dreamt the most amazing dream last night. I swear my dreams are getting better by the day; they're becoming more vivid, realistic and best of all I can actually remember them now.

Last nights beat loads of my other dreams, and it was seriously frickin' cool. Also, it helped me come up with an awesome plot for a new project of mine. S'all good!

I survived my chemistry exam... by the skin of my neck. I judged the time wrong, scared the shit out of myself. I've never misjudged the time before; in fact, I always make a note of it in order to pace myself accordingly. I'm putting it down to the fact that I had jitters going into the exam. Usually I feel kind of calm and confident, but this time round I was a bit frantic and stuff. I seriously hope this doesn't happen again on wednesday, when I have my physics exam. Eesh.

I have to learn the whole of the physics Unit 3 in two days. I'm screwed, haha. Despite this obvious fact though, I'm still willing to try my hardest. I've got the rest of the week to be lazy after my exams, so I've decided to just shut up and pour everything I've got into revision. Whether it pays off or not though, we shall find out when I get my results back.

I started doing some inking on my canvas today... kind of felt like a fool, since there's only me and one other girl in my entire art class using easels. We stick out like sore thumbs, and I kept on getting in everyone's way. Hopefully some of the other randomers will catch up and move onto their final pieces soon.

Last lesson we had maths (ugh, I know.. crappy last lesson, eh?), but it was kind of cool. We're doing some bad ass quadratics, which are a bitch, but the teacher plans awesome lessons - she's a crazy lady - which make the maths easier to swallow. I also had S (no names mentioned, as always) sitting across the class from me, making faces with me and trying to make me laugh. He also made me lose the bloody game about 5 frickin' times. S is in my art class too; he's a nice guy. He's insanely clever - he's going on to study further mathematics at A level. All right for some, aint it?

Anyways.

Yoga. Physics revision. Facebook. Sort out my iPod. Yep, lot's of stuff to do.

Maybe zumba, not yoga. Depends how hyper I'm feeling.

Rock out with ya cock out,
K x

127 Hours

I am actually shitting myself about my Chem exam tomorrow... The unit we're being tested on is a bitch, and I don't understand it. In order to answer stuff I have to understand it first, so... Basically I'm screwed. I wish I'd given myself more time to revise now, but I only realised late on that I had to redo so much. Ugh. FML.

Atleast I've got art fourth period - if I live that long that is. Itching to work on my canvas more, I love it.

Hmm, what else before I go.. Went to watch 127 Hours today. It kind of made me think alot about just how strong our survival instinct is as humans. We say we'd never do certain things, but when the other option is death, most of us would do a hell of a lot. The film also shined a light on how resillient we can be. It was definitely worth watching.

Also, note; if you're reading this - you know who you are, dude - I'm really sorry about how shit has gone recently. My exams and stuff that's happened has stirred up a right shit storm of the major kind. We'll figure it out though, we always do.

Take care,
K x

Surprise.

I got a nasty surprise when I went on facebook just before; had a nasty link posted on my wall.

The immaturity of some people astounds me. Really, it does.

There was some good that came out of it though; certain people stepped up to stick up for me.. made me extremely grateful to have friends like them.

Koralyn.

me.

Rules:

1.) You must write 10 facts about yourself. And those facts can be about anything--Hobbies, random things, your personal life, your not-so-personal-life.
2.) The facts CANNOT be "I don't know what to put now lol" or anything among those lines that would be a place holder. Take some time and think about it.
3.) Title this "10 Facts about ____" and tag as many (or as little) people as you want. Those people must do it.



-------------------------------------------


1) I'm a pescatarian - I eat fish, but I don't eat meat.

2) I'm still in full time education; next year I'm going on to study for my A-Levels at either SJD's or T.C.H.S 6th Form. I'm going to take mathematics, psychology, biology and English literature. 


3) I own a chocolate Labrador named Winston, and two Roborovski dwarf hamsters named Romeo & Marley. I'm convinced the hamsters are gay. 

4) My least favourite part of the human anatomy to draw is probably the hands. They piss me off like nothing else, and they give me serious art-rage. Urghhh.

5) My bedroom is painted a colour called 'Snowfall'. I swear this colour is the antidote to my art-rage.


6) I have a small callous on my right ring finger - I'm right handed, and since I'm permanently sketching/writing/painting etc., I've now got a mark to prove it. I kind of like it; it shows more of who I am to the people around me.

7) I've never died my hair. One, because I like my natural colour (dark auburn brown verging on ginger), and Two, it ruins your hair, and Three, regrowth looks god awful.

8) Instead of killing spiders, like I used to, I now trap them under cups and let them out through the nearest window. It's helped me get over my arachnophobia. 

9) I believe 'The Vampire Diaries' has the best possible play list in the history of TV shows. All of the tracks recently added to my iTunes were ones I first heard while watching the show.


10) I'm an optimist. I believe when you're feeling shit, you could always feel shitter. The sky's the limit, the world isn't going to end in 2012, and 'you don't apply, you don't achieve' is my motto. Also, self inflicted pain makes me want to vom. This is 2011; we're no longer Neanderthal's, so stop acting like them. Hard work + determination + self belief= success. 






There. That's me, in a nut shell. A very small nut shell. 


Chillax,
K x

bazinga.

A in English, A in Chemistry.

BOOYAHHH.

Fuck you -insert chem teachers name-, FUCK YOUUU! Ha. Haaaaaa. SMD.

Okay, immature yelling session/rant over. Basically, I'm well chuffed & my darling family members are well proud - so proud that they want to celebrate. Me and my mum are gonna have some girly time at the cinema; we're gonna watch the newest narnia. I've already seen it, but it was SO awesome and mum hasn't watched it yet.. so it doesn't matter.

AHHHHHH. Relief. Mega. Fucking. Relief.

Biology exam went well; I'd done the whole last question on the paper only a few hours before on a past paper. I practically still had the mark scheme memorised. It made my day, to be honest. The force was with me. For once.

Only sucky thing is I had a dirty text issue with someone earlier (needless to say, they got an almighty butt-kicking and were also told where to shove it), and I've still got two exams to go. Chemistry & physics.

The hardest fucking subjects known to man-kind.

Gimme maths; quadratics, trigonometry, probability - fine.
Gimme english; essays on Shakespeare, prose and poetry - fine.
Gimme art; analysis, painting a huge mofo canvas in less than two weeks - fine.
Gimme geography; research, primary/secondary data, graphs, manipulating figures - fine.

But chem/physics? I'm lost.

I can't tell you what a fucking moment is, convex/concave lenses give me headaches, and don't even get me started on how the periodic table was developed. Just no.

Next week, I may actually die.

May the force be with you, nerdlings.
K x

AHHH.

I've got brain ache from revising. What an absolute bitch..

I've also run out of books to read, which makes my life a hell of a lot dimmer. I've just read 'Lament' by Maggie Stiefvater & 'Matched' by Ally Condie. Both were amazing, but sadly it only took my two days to read them both.

Sometimes loving books so much is a pain in the ass.

Will be needing another trip to WHSmith or Waterstones this weekend; stock up on books to read after my Chemisty & Physics exams next week. It'll be a nice change from textbooks. I swear; if I see another chemistry textbook, I'm going to burn it. Simple as.

Chemistry makes me want to scream.

K x

Stupidity

According to my maths teacher, my whole class has been EXTREMELY stupid.

Basically, one maths lesson about three months ago we had a cover teacher, and right at the end of the lesson some dudes started nutting a calculator, trying to break it. Another dude filmed it. It was put on Youtube, and hey presto, today we all got a grand bollocking.

I've been trying to figure out how the fuck they found the video, so I asked around and found out one of the teachers googled our schools name and stumbled upon it by accident. Of course, as it made our school look like an 'inner city school' with crazy violent children running rampant inside it, they went berserk... because, of course, we're supposed to be a well-brought up, mature, sensible group of 16 year olds.

So, yeah. Had to listen to a 15 minute rant on how our maths teacher is now not going to cut us any slack at all, and the hammer is gonna come down hard. All because a few guys were trying to have fun.

Okay, I get it. Health and safety and shit, yeah yeah. But we're teenagers; give us a break. We work our asses off, and the moment a few of us do something stupid we ALL get yelled at for it. FML.

I just want my results. I need at least A's on both of the exams I did before Christmas, the Chemistry and the English ones. Think I bagged Chem, but.. this was the first paper we've sat for English at GCSE, and we did it early, too. Just praying I did good, because I don't want to have to do it again in June when everyone else does theirs; I want one less exam on my mind.

God, if you're listening; gimme a bit of luck, dude. I could use it right now.

Also, I thought the image below was pretty damn funny, and also extremely true. Since I'm ranting about maths, figured I'd shove it here... just for the lolz.

K x

Hollow

Guess that's just how I feel right now; hollow.

'I shot for the sky, i'm stuck on the ground, so why do I try? I know I'm gonna fall down. I thought I could fly, so why did I drown? I never know why, it's coming down, down, down.'
- Down, Jason Walker.

Beautiful song. Describes exactly how I feel right now... Although I haven't fallen yet, it feels as though I will soon. I couldn't explain it, so maybe those lyrics do.

Anyway, I'm in bed on my iPod writing this... And it's 23:26. And I've got school tomorrow. Oh, the joys. Guess I should sleep.

Biology Unit 3 test on Thursday, as well as results for English and chemistry tests I took before Christmas. Gotta keep my focus, now more than ever. The stakes are too high right now.

Let's hope I can shake this stupid hollow feeling.

K x

Start Again

First day back at school today. It was as tiring, dismal and monotonous as I expected.

The only decent parts were break (I had prom/yearbook committee, we were giving people 'most likely to be..' awards.. was so fucking funny) and fourth lesson (we had ICT; E wrote shit all over my left arm and we had a good old banter about crap. Also, she thought I looked pretty today, which really cheered me up. Funny how something small does that).

Anyway. I had my flu jab after school, didn't feel a thing. I did enjoy shooting evil looks at my mum though, which she found amusing. I guess she's used to it by now, ahahaaa.

Chillax
K x