blinding illumination

It's cheesy. I KNOW.

It's an oxymoron from a poem in the 2008 Anthology. I KNOW.

But I just had to use it as a title, and I thought it was pretty damn fitting considering I've had a sort of... epiphany recently. About myself, and about someone very close to my heart.

I'm in love.

It's crazy. Totally and utterly crazy, and it knocks me for six. Just like he does, every time I think of him. I don't want to say his name on here, it'd make it... fake. Unreal. It'd ruin it.

But he's amazing. So amazing, I feel practically transparent next to him. Every word he whispers to me makes me fall for him more... but I'm not complaining. It's like his voice is a spell, wrapping around me, tighter and tighter. But it's a good feeling, an insanely good feeling.

Hell. I sound like a lunatic now.

But if this is what it feels like to be insane, then I'm ever so happy about it. It finally feels like I've sort of grounded myself, like things have stopped spinning and I can finally see through the 'fog' or whatever. Even school feels good.

I want to declare how I feel to the world, shout it from the rooftops so that even the tramp who sits outside my local Tesco knows what's happened to me. But... I also want to lock it away inside me, gather it all up and wrap it around my heart. Keep it close. I want it to stay there forever.

I pray to God it does, whichever God decides to listen. I'm a firm atheist, but what's the harm in trying? I pray he'll stay with me forever.

I don't want to let go of him.

K x