express yourself, be creative

I IN NO WAY CLAIM THIS WORK AS MY OWN, AND FULLY RESPECT THE FACT THAT IT BELONGS TO OTHER PEOPLE. So don't bitch about copyright or whatever. I'm just displaying it.

The bottom left and top right pictures are my favourites.

I'm not quite sure why I wanted to post these here, but.. yeah. I wanted to. The bottom two were taken by a boy named Dallas Harder, who's fourteen years old. Fourteen! The bottom left picture is a self-portrait he took. Personally, I'm in love with his work. He takes beautiful photographs, and should be an inspiration to any other young photographers out there.

Visit his page on deviantart.com and go through his gallery. You'll be amazed.

The top right photograph is part of a series that I stumbled upon, taken by another brilliant photographer. She's the girl in the photograph, and yes, that is the colour of her hair. She's epic.

Top left photo was taken by some random underwater photographer, go check her out. She's pretty awesome too. Her photographs are elegant in a way that I can't really describe, and her gallery is breathtaking.

So long, dudes. Be back later to do a more 'blog-type' post.

Ciao,
K x

shuffle

I got bored. I found this. Here are the results...


1. Put your iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Look No Further - Dido

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Solo - Iyaz

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Eenie Meenie - Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Till It Happens to You - Corinne Bailey Rae

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
T-Shirt - Shontelle

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
If Love Equals Nothing - Will Young

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Telephone - Lady Gaga & Beyonce

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) - A.R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Walking On Snow - Jordin Sparks

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
Writtin In The Stars - Tinie Tempah Ft. Eric Turner

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Many Of Horrors - Biffy Clyro

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Set Me Off - The Saturdays

WHAT SONG WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Do It Well - Jennifer Lopez

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Free My Mind - Will Young

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
I Can Be - Taio Cruz

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Poker Face - Lady Gaga


'Nuff said about me, to be honest. Hahaha. 

teenagers

Isn't it sad that we're all so young, yet we're so depressed, alone, forgotten, paranoid, judgmental and afraid of the future? What happened to being young, living life, having fun and not giving a fuck?

magic

I'm ill...sucks ass.

After the art mock yesterday (which was totally different to what I thought it was going to be like, by the way) I had a massive headache from concentrating for 5 damn hours, which definitely contributed to me feeling like a shizbag today. Think I'm coming down with something, to be honest.

To top it off, I also missed my geography mock today... and maybe my business one too. FML. I've screwed things up big time now. Damnit. At least it's Friday tomorrow... I'll have all weekend to de-stress before I have to go back to the hell hole (a.k.a TCHS) on Monday.

I just want the mocks to be over, and I want to get the results back from my English & Chem exams. Maybe also the results from my mocks, bar the Maths one since I screwed that. Apart from that, I just want to forget everything and go for a nice long swim. Yes, I'm loony.

I haven't swam in ages... Miss it. I miss the sea, for God's sake. Getting a gob full of salt-water is much better than a gob full of chlorine in a swimming pool full of screaming kiddies and teenage couples feeling each other up underwater. Honestly, that's ALL they do. Me and my best friend did some underwater perving and dear GAWD... it was nasty. Real nasty. 

We won't be doing it again, to say the least.

Gonna have to sneak out this weekend, run up to my Nan's and go for a midnight swim in their lake. They have a gorgeous house, a huge garage (which I adore), loads of field space, beautiful gardens, a huge vegetable plot with three greenhouses, and three lakes. Yep, three. I'm gonna have to explain this now, haha. 

Right. Like, erm.. 40 years ago (?) my Granddad set up a fishing business or something. Since he's a stone mason/gardener, he could design/dig/create the whole thing himself. So, him and some other dudes dug out three lakes, joined by waterfalls. It's kinda like this:

___________
                        \
                         _______________________
                                                                         \
                                                                           _________________________________

The bottom lake is the biggest (and deepest). My mum and my auntie used to go swimming in it as kids, and there's still a rope swing that hangs out over the water from this huge willow tree that they used to use.

I've made my mind up; I have to go there this weekend. 

I forgot, they also have a small orchard of apple trees, a courtyard and three barns. I think there's a pattern of three going on here, haha. 

I absolutely love their house. They designed and built it themselves, and it's brilliant. They have a long track we call the Adlands, and it's lined with huge great big conifer trees. When I was little, I used to take carrier bags and collect pine cones there. It was so much fun, haha. 

Also, in their back garden was a little stone arch with a wrought iron gate beneath it, which leads into a small grotto. I guess it was once a dome shaped trellis or something, but they grew wild honeysuckle all over it so it looks like it's formed naturally. It has a stone floor and steps inside like a mini auditorium, which used to be covered in moss... Needless to say, we always sat on them and got green stains on our butts. Good times. 

We called it 'Snow Whites Grotto'. I have so many good memories of playing in there... Sometimes I wish I could rewind a few years so I'd have an excuse to play in there again. Being a little kid was so damn fun. 

Ah, last but not least, I must mention the stone gargoyles that sit on the steps leading up to the stone arch. They've been sitting there ever since I can remember, and over the years they've just gotten even more ancient looking and gnarled... I think this makes them look better. Anyway, we used to pretend there was a password to enter the grotto, and you had to whisper it to the gargoyles to get inside. 

Haha, we had so much fun...

I'll get pictures and shove them on here some time. My description doesn't really do the place justice. 

WOW. I've written a lot. Erm, sorry for ranting on and on... But I had fun writing this, haha. It was a trip back down memory lane.

Aurevoir,
K x

P.S; Motto of the day; whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. 

rawr

50 Random Questions

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
In my room, listening to music... erm, probably on Facebook nattering to my friends and playing sad games too, ahaha.
2. Who are you in love with?
It's a secret. He knows who he is. ;)
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Yup, sadly. It was in primary school, and I had purple wax stuck in my teeth for ages afterwards. My mum was like; 'Oh, dear LORD. What the HELL have they been feeding you now?'
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Erm, yeah. Under my desk there's a roll of pink thread, but I have no idea where the fuck it came from.
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
I'm not American, so it was actually a shopping centre, but whatever. Friday is the answer, haha.
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope, hate them.
7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
Yep, my Mum's sexy BMW. She loves it to bits, and I want to steal it.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
On Friday, when I went to the shopping centre. 
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Jeez, no I haven't. Going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; Part 1 tomorrow though with the Seniors, should be awesome.
10. Are you hot?
Temperature wise, no. Appearance wise? Oh, yeah. Totally. ;)
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
This sparkling elderflower water stuff about ten minutes ago, was yummy.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Random pyjama shorts and a vest top, 'cos I'm the height of fashion right now. Not.
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
It ain't my car, so I don't do either, ahaha.
14. Last food that you ate?
Veggie pizza for my tea.
15. Where were you last week at this time?
Probably in exactly the same place I am now; in my bedroom.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Probably, can't remember.
17. When is the last time you ran?
Today, I ran home from the bus stop. 'Cos I'm cool.
18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I watched my brother do a front flip on the trampoline, get his ass wet and scramble off... does that count?
19. What is your favorite animal?
I have three... big cats, wolves, dogs.
20. Your dream vacation?
I want to go back to America again! Ride some more roller coasters, haha.
21. Last person's house you were in?
Probably my best friends.
22. Worst injury you've ever had?
Wasn't really an injury, it was more of an illness. Due to asthma I had breathing difficulties as a kid, and I had to stay in hospital for ages because it got really serious.
23. Have you been in love?
Yep. Hurts.
24. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss my best friends... I need a hug.
25. Last play you saw?
Romeo & Juliet.
26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My personality. They don't like it, then they can get stuffed. I don't really have a 'secret weapon' as such, haha.
27. What are your plans for tonight?
Listen to music, finish this question thing, text my mates.. etc, etc. Not much.
28. Who is the last person you sent a Facebook message or comment?
This girl who is on my bus, her name's Anna.
29. Next trip you are going to take?
Going to the cinema after school tomorrow, ahaha. Recreational trips FTW!
30. Ever go to camp?
That thing that American kids go to over summer? No way, it's full of Lesbians. And I'm English.
31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
A what?
32. What do you want to know about the future?
I want to know when/if the cure for cancer is found, and what it is so I can tell people earlier.
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yeah, it smells awesome.
34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
Probably, you'll have to ask my Mother. I don't keep track of shit like that, ahaha.
35. Where is your best friend?
Watching tv at her house, the other one is erm... No idea to be honest.
36. How is your best friend?
One's ill, the other is fine and dandy.
37. Do you have a tan?
Tiny bit left over from Florida on my shoulders, but other than that I'm as pale as a damn vampire.
38. What are you listening to right now?
Rockstar 101 by Rihanna feat. Slash.
39. Do you collect anything?
Books, there's a whole library of them under my damn bed.
40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Not gonna mention a name, but no surprise; it's a girl. And she's in my year.
41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
I can't drive yet, so I haven't ever been pulled over, ahaha.
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Loads of times.
43. What does your last text message say?
Says; 'Screw you'. Joke, it's no one else's business.
44. Do you like hot sauce?
Hate it.
45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning, but I regretted going to school with wet hair 'cos it was FUCKING FREEZING.
46. Do you need to do laundry?
My dearest mother does it for me still. ;)
47. What is your heritage?
Erm, not sure quite how to answer. I'll just put something I've 'inherited' as a kind of answer. I've inherited an old gold antique watch and a china music egg... they're both extremely beautiful.
48. Are you someone's best friend?
Hopefully I'm considered as one to a few people.
49. Are you rich?
Not rich, not poor. In the middle.
50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Probably whispering to my boyfriend on the phone.

failure

Failed the maths mock. Totally bummed it.

This is what no revision gets me. I mean, what did I fucking expect? Being brutally honest; I'm bright, but I'm in set 1A. There ain't no place for laziness or slackers, of which I am both. I deserved what happened today, and I also know that my maths teacher has every right to moan at me on Thursday when we next have maths.

I'm 6 marks off an A* on my overall score. 6 god damn marks. This test was only a mock, but if it had been the real exam I'd have fucking screwed everything up.

It means too much to me to mess around, far too much.

When I was a kid, I had to go to a maths tutor because I was that bad at maths... she literally had to teach me everything from the ground up, and I was in year five. Luckily, I went to her long enough that she turned things right around and I nailed my SAT's in year six. I also nailed it all through high school, and without her I'd be on a C right now, but I'm not. I'm sat on an A.

Maths never came naturally to me, and that's why I want this so much. I had to fight for it, and I can't give up now. It's the real damn thing, what I do with the rest of my life depends on the grades I get at GCSE. I can't slack now.

I fuck up my GCSE's, and everything is screwed.

So yeah, I've had a major kick up the butt. All the teachers graphs and statistics and shit say that I'm supposed to get at least an A in EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT.

They say I can make it, my parents say I can make it, my brother says I can 'kick their asses' (translation; nail it). I want to make it. I NEED to make it, for my own god dang sanity. I didn't work my butt off all this time to slack up now, no way.

I want A levels. I want a degree in something that sounds insanely complicated and sophisticated. I want to achieve my dreams, the dreams I actually have the ability to reach. But can I? That's the million dollar question.

Anyway, one mock down this week, one more to go. It's Art & Design, and it's on Wednesday. Fuck me if I'm not going to fight tooth and nail to ace this one.

There's a song from Step Up called 'Im'ma Shine', and it's kind of my motivational song right now. I want to shine.

Im'ma shine,
K x

le bonheur

It's Monday again tomorrow! Wahoo. 

It's going to be a busy week for me I guess; I've got loads of mocks (including art, geography and maths), it's Citizenship day tomorrow (ohhh the joys), going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 with the other seniors straight after school on tuesday, and uhmm... uhmm... well, yeah. There's more stuff going on but I seem to have forgotten, which is immensely helpful. 

FUN FUN FUN.

...Not. Well, apart from the Harry Potter bit, haha.

Also, GOOD NEWS! I got a letter back from Sir John Deanes asking me to go for an interview at the college to discuss my subject choices. Insert Mini-spasticated-happy-dance here! I just hope all goes well. The interview is the week after next, on Thursday 2nd December, so... it's not exactly long off. 

Eeeeeeeep. Happy! Happy happy happy days, guys. S'all going good for me right now, really good.

Only bad thing is that I've eaten too many cookies, and I feel well sick now. Oopsie. It's my Mother's fault, she left the tin open on the side...

Life is good,

K x

Imperfection

I took this on a geography trip to Rhyl ages ago, and just stumbled upon it in a random file. I think it's pretty cool.

P.S; please click on the image for the full view, it was squished down in order to fit on here. 

simplicity

Something occurred to me today, and it was this; beautiful things are often extremely simple. It's not a new realisation by any means, and it's probably not even remotely interesting to many people... But the more I think about it, the more I realise how true it is.

The art room at my high school. That's something beautiful.

The floor is chapped linoleum, covered in splatters of acrylic paint and scuff marks from peoples shoes. The tables and stools are scratched, chipped, and more often than not they creak like hell when you lean/sit on them. Muddy streaks cover the draughty windows, and the sinks are always clogged with disgusting gunk that's probably a mixture of drawing ink, PVA glue, paint, and god only knows what else. There's two store rooms; ones full of A1 sheets of card that are almost always arranged in a precarious looking pile atop an old dented filing cabinet (which is stuffed with pastels, fine liners, charcoal and graphite), and the other is chock-a-block with peoples artwork, very much like a cave of treasure.

It's messy. It's almost always noisy. Every time I go in there, I come out with at least one new splatter of paint on my uniform (sorry, Mum).

But, to me, it's beautiful. It provides an escape for me like nowhere else. I can go in there, grab whatever I want, and do whatever I want. If I spill bright yellow acrylic on the table, so what? The teacher barely bats an eyelash. My friend throws a pot of glue at me, misses, and ends up splattering the cupboards with PVA...so what? The teacher doesn't give a shit, she just carries on searching the draws behind her desk for a roll of masking tape.

Trust the mess. That's her motto.

My Nan's garage. That's something beautiful.

During the winter there's sacks of potatoes that my Granddad has grown lined up against the wall, under a lopsided shelf brimming with paint pots and other random bits and bobs. There's three freezers; yes, three. Two stood against the same wall as the potatoes and another against the back wall. The floor is dirty and the air smells musty, but it's cold and crisp. Fresh. At Christmas, Halloween or bonfire night, when everyone is crowded inside the living room, I sneak out and sit cross legged in the garage. Just to breathe. There's a trap door on the ceiling that leads up into what used to be my Mum's room in the attic. My Granddad built it, so she could get out if there was a fire.

I can breathe there. I can look at the mundane things around me, draw patterns in the dust on the window ledge. I can sit with my eyes closed and feel the cold seep through into my skin.

It feels as though that garage emanates a sort of calm feeling. Zen. It's peaceful.

The field across the road from my house. That's something beautiful.

It comes alive in the summer, when the sun shines across it. The grass shimmers in the wind, turning silver and undulating like the sea.

The smiles on my best friends faces when I say something stupid. They're something beautiful.
The sharp crunch of an apple when I first bite into it. That's something beautiful.
The relentless waves on Perranporth beach in Cornwall, wild and unforgiving. They're something beautiful.
The whispered conversations I have with my boyfriend late at night on the phone. They're something beautiful.

Beautiful things are often extremely simple.

art perv

We all do it. Some perhaps more than others. What am I talking about?

Art perving, of course! As usual I've been lurking around deviantart.com, and I just wanted to link some peoples work. Some of the artists out there have amazing talent and are extremely gifted.

Right, so... Guess I'd better just state that; I IN NO WAY CLAIM THAT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING WORK IS MINE, OR BELONGS TO ME IN ANY WAY.

Wahoo. :) 

Alright, I'll stop spamming now. But seriously, go and have a nosey around that site. You'll be surprised at some of the stuff there; I know I was.

Anyway...

I went to this huge shopping complex thingy today, called the Trafford Centre. It was pretty damn amazing. I've only been there once before, and that was years ago, so it was great to see it all again. It's beautiful inside, and if you live near it and haven't been GO AND CHECK IT OUT. 


It's sexy. ;)


I didn't buy anything since I'm poorer than the tramp outside my local Tesco right now (I've mentioned him a lot recently, haha), but whatever. It was still fun. 


I'm off to watch one creepy film or another... probably be back sooner or later to have another natter.

Chillax,
K x

blinding illumination

It's cheesy. I KNOW.

It's an oxymoron from a poem in the 2008 Anthology. I KNOW.

But I just had to use it as a title, and I thought it was pretty damn fitting considering I've had a sort of... epiphany recently. About myself, and about someone very close to my heart.

I'm in love.

It's crazy. Totally and utterly crazy, and it knocks me for six. Just like he does, every time I think of him. I don't want to say his name on here, it'd make it... fake. Unreal. It'd ruin it.

But he's amazing. So amazing, I feel practically transparent next to him. Every word he whispers to me makes me fall for him more... but I'm not complaining. It's like his voice is a spell, wrapping around me, tighter and tighter. But it's a good feeling, an insanely good feeling.

Hell. I sound like a lunatic now.

But if this is what it feels like to be insane, then I'm ever so happy about it. It finally feels like I've sort of grounded myself, like things have stopped spinning and I can finally see through the 'fog' or whatever. Even school feels good.

I want to declare how I feel to the world, shout it from the rooftops so that even the tramp who sits outside my local Tesco knows what's happened to me. But... I also want to lock it away inside me, gather it all up and wrap it around my heart. Keep it close. I want it to stay there forever.

I pray to God it does, whichever God decides to listen. I'm a firm atheist, but what's the harm in trying? I pray he'll stay with me forever.

I don't want to let go of him.

K x

existing

A human needs three things; oxygen, food, water. 

That's it. Well, technically. That's what a human needs to exist at the most basic level anyway. They're machines; their bodies repeating the same processes day in day out for their entire lives. They all breathe, respire, blah blah blah. 

That's where the simplicity ends though. After that it gets very complicated. The choices each individual makes every day set them apart from everyone else, so that just like their DNA, they are truly unique.

Some choices are simple. What colour socks should they wear? Which cereal should they eat for breakfast? Should they leave the cat out?

But of course, some choices are the total opposite. Should they confront the boyfriend who was recently found snorting cocaine about his addiction? What should they study at university, if they go to university at all? Should they take their dog to the vets to have it put down since it was diagnosed with lung cancer?

And then there's the emotions.

Love. Hate. Loneliness. Anger. Jealousy. Spite. Anxiety. Joy. Happiness. Confusion. Sorrow. Pride. Courage. Disgrace. Shame. Humiliation. Curiosity. Hope. Horror. Surprise. Wonder. Envy. Gratitude. Euphoria. Frustration. Guilt. Desire. Contempt. Disappointment. Grief. Affection. Lust. Rage. Regret. Remorse.

Often they're all mixed up, tangled and interwoven. 

It's these emotions that lead to discussions, which lead to arguments, which lead to violence...which leads to war. And everyone knows what war leads to; Death.

You could remove the emotions, the decisions and choices. You could strip every single living human being of their identity, white wash them with paint. Rid them of their uniqueness. Take away their personalities and feelings.

Doing all of this would indeed save them from their ultimate self-destruction. Because, inevitably, that is what will happen.

But why? There's no point. Either way, the human race would be destroyed.

Remove their identity, saving them from themselves; they might as well not exist. 

Leave them be; they'll destroy themselves anyway. Then they really won't exist.

It's an interesting conundrum.

Perhaps you should decide which ending is better yourself.

I've already chosen.